Arrival

Arrived at work and everything felt calm. I felt calm. That after sitting in traffic for over an hour. With New Jersey drivers to top it off. Yes, I guess I am one of them though. The days of rain feel like maybe they are cleansing me. Cleansing me, rather slowly I might add though, of the stress and frustration of recent and upcoming events. Ahhh, and it feels good.

Looking forward to another road trip…we leave on Sunday…down to Asheville North Carolina and then on to Bonnaroo in Tennessee for music, camping, relaxing and fun. Can’t wait. I haven’t been to a good musical festival in a while, so I’m definitely looking forward to it. Also looking forward to some good North Carolina exploration. Exploring with purpose but that will be explained at a later date for certain reasons.

So I suppose I have phone phobia. I just called congressman’s office to urge him to “save the internet” but I froze up and ended up hanging up. I felt like I was in eighth grade apprehensively yet excitedly calling a skater boy that I liked. It was rather pathetic actually. Perhaps I’ll call back later. Or maybe just add it to “the list.”

I left this open and went on with my day. As the day progresses…the rain keeps falling. Grey skies and wind are comforting. I love these days though I wish I could curl up out of the fluorescent lights and wrap a blanket around me and immerse myself in nothing. I find the doubts and worries seeping into my mind after a morning of relaxation and peace. I’m scanning photos for my grandmother’s 75th birthday party and I think it’s just reminding me of the fleeting nature of time and how it slips out of your hands. For myself, a reminder that actions need to be taken toward the dreams and things that will make me happy. I need to remember that. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the monotony of life and forget about those important things…the things that make your heart beat fast, the things that excite you and scare you. The real marrow of life. What’s the quote? "I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau

No, I’m in no way, shape or form comparing myself to Thoreau so don’t worry. I want to suck the marrow out better. Right now, I’m leaving too much meat on the bone. Well, that’s what change is for. Exploring is up ahead on my road. I just need to get off the main road and explore the little paths. The paths with paint and words and woods and people and music and places. I need to get into the crevices of the moments and immerse myself. I will do that.

First, I just need to get out of this creative block. Hopefully a week of exploring will help with that.